Thursday, September 14, 2006

Things to do this weekend. Regis Philbin not included.

Every fall I get ants in my pants about getting off my lazy ass (which took root on my lawn chair quite nicely in the hot summer weather) and actually participating in life. You know, going to events! Engaging in activities! Making craft items from empty soda bottles, glitter, and felt!

Based on conversations with similarly antsy-friends and family members, I’m guessing that you too may have an urge to enjoy some Autumn activities. Perhaps you’re jonesing to visit an orchard and go on a hayride while crunching away on a wasp-infested caramel apple. Maybe you want to savor the last warm days of the year with a color-infused drive through Local Scenery of Note (argument with significant other included). Or you could just be looking for new ways to distract yourself from ever having to balance your checkbook again.

I’m here to help.

First, you could check out this film project in production. Click on “In Production” and then “Don’t miss the amazing story of Valen Sheriff!” Valen graciously read an early draft of Riding with Larry Resnick to make sure I wasn’t totally full of crap. (The main character of my novel, like Valen, has Polycystic Kidney Disease. I don’t. Hence, our connection.) Not only is Valen inspiring as hell, she’s also incredibly sweet and so pretty it’s almost alarming. The kind of alarming that makes you want to run out and get plastic surgery, liposuction on your pooch, and a complete personality lift even though you've never even had a professional manicure in your life.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the film. Moving on to more film-oriented goodness, check out this Pittsburgh-based web series that’s way better than whatever you’re doing at work right now. It's called Something to be Desired, and according to them, it's like Friends, only funny. That made me laugh, so I knew I had to check it out. I did. I was entertained. Thanks to cast member Erik Schark for the tip! Bejeweled? You are being officially tossed to the curb in favor of something more interesting. (I was going to do a cutesy play on the title, but I thought it might trigger your gag reflex.)

Want to buy some soy candles that stink like punkins? Check out Pure Integrity or Rosegirls Candles. No, their candles don’t actually stink. They’re actually quite delicious-smelling. So delicious that after smelling Rosegirls’ Brown Sugar & Chestnuts my mouth watered and I almost licked my fingers. Plus, it turned out that I live in the same city as Rosegirls, so they delivered them right to my front door. For free! I received free sample candles from both companies, too. Did you hear that? FREE!!! I’m in smelly wax-heaven.

Want to read some funny shit? Well, since you won’t find it here, check out the writings of Laura House (I especially enjoyed "Jesus in L.A.") and Jill Soloway. Sir Awesome's Review Revue is worth a perusal. The To-Do List is pretty good, too.

As for activities that require you to bathe and get out of your computer chair, I might not be of much help unless you live in Wisconsin, where the beer flows through the streets like … um, beer, until the cheese binds it up. This weekend, if you’re in Wisconsin, you can help me organize our garage. Or you could go to the mid-September Oktoberfest in Chippewa Falls for some polka, or Fall-O-Rama in Waupaca, or Green County Cheese Days in Monroe, or Food for Thought in Madison or Pumpkin Fest in Ripon or the Whooping Crane Festival in Necedah or the Wine & Harvest Festival in Cedarburg. There are probably some nature hikes and shit happening somewhere, too. Nationwide, you could join any of the Walks to Cure PKD. Or you could just stay home and watch Angels with Dirty Faces on TCM Saturday night.

I’m ashamed to admit that I typed that to see what kind of Google searches would lead people to this site.


  1. Well so far, only I am here, so so much for your google experiment!



    You could be hanging with Manic and Swishy this weekend and instead you are buying some candles and watching some stupid movie?????

    You could do that HERE with us! And we'd probably even initiate you into our bikini wax club, but Noooooooooooo, you've got more important things to do.

    Besides, I Think you owe me a big ass martini.

    (This invite does not expire!)

    Oh hold on, Swishy wants to say something...

    Swishy, your turn....

  2. Jess!! I would have BROUGHT you some candles! I would have even taken one for the team and tracked down the Makeout Man so you could put a name to the face, but noooo ...

    Well, it'll be your fault when we get thrown in jail for stalking Emily Giffin. Who else is supposed to be the voice of reason? Manic?!? HA!

    We might go out with Manic's crazy neighbor, too! YOU ARE SO MISSING OUT!

    But we'll still invite you next time.

  3. Oh, and I just re-read your post and saw this: Did you hear that? FREE!!! I’m in smelly wax-heaven.

    Don't you know you can be in SMELLY-WAX-HELL with us!!!!!!!!

    You are so missing out.

  4. I want to be in smelly wax heaven! I lurve smelly wax, especially if it makes me salivate. And the nice thing about beeswax is, if you eat it in a middle-of-the-night, drinking binge, pumpkin pie jones it won't kill you. So I've heard.

  5. Okay - I am not a part of the earlier commenters so will not tell you that you SUCK. You don't! If you want to stay home and buy candles then do!!

    There is something about fall that makes me want to try something new.

  6. Okay Jess, it's me and the SWishter sitting in my house, cursing you out like a Mutha-Effer, wishing you were here with us cuz it's Friday night at 10:12 and we're soooo cool... we're blogging, then we're going to read our separate Jennifer Weiner books.

    Rock on!

  7. I'm pretty sure that if I lived in Wisconsin, I'd be in a constant state of bound-uppedness.

    I've kind of got an antsy thing going right now, too. I've had to urge to bake a pumpkin pie, which I think I'm confusing with the urge to EAT a pumpkin pie.

  8. Thanks for the tips. I'm bathed and dressed, but still not sure about leaving the house...

  9. mmm the candles sound heavenly!

    I adore fall! We are always busy, so me being tired a the moment is horrible :(

  10. Holy moly! My dad is on the board of the PKD Foundation! I didn't think anyone more than a handful of us had even heard of PKD, and here you are writing about it!! Not only writing about it, encouraging people to DO SOMETHING about it!!

    Very cool!!! Very, very cool!! Hats off to you!

    And boy oh boy, that's a helluva character flaw to give your protag. Can't wait to read the book to see what you do with it!

  11. Hey Jess,

    Just popping in to say hi! :-) Hope all is going well with you and yours.


  12. Thanks for all the links. Now my checkbook can stay unbalanced for at least another day or two.

    (I didn't know your book dealt with PKD. A good friend of ours has it, so I will be sure and pass it along.)

  13. Laura House is HILARIOUS! I absolutely loved the Jesus essay and I'm sharing it with everyone. (Don't worry, I've already shared your blog with everyone first.)

    Hi Jess, from the drunkest city in the U.S., according to Forbes or Esquire or American Girl Magazine. (I can't remember.) Hope you're having a great day!