Thursday, February 07, 2013

Work from Home! Assemble Products! Say "Hi" to your Dog!


When you work at home half the time, it can get a little lonely. Bad habits, like not showering for 36 hours, can form. Also, you talk to yourself. Here are the Greatest Hits from Things I’ve Said Aloud While Working from Home:

“Hi Daisy!”

“Why is my middle toe hot?”

 “Daisy, did the mailman come?”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“Stop barking. There’s nothing to bark at.”

“Hi Daisy! Cuteface! You’re so cute.”

“Who is that?”

“What should I eat for lunch today, Daisy?”

“You’re not supposed to sit there, but I’ll let you, because I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, bellyrubs!”

“Don’t let me eat any more Doritos.”

“Hi peanut! Cutepea!”

“What in the heck is this?”

“Hi Messhead! Fuzzface Cutie!”

“Quiet! Why are you barking? There’s nothing to bark at.”

“Why is there—oh gross, this is a toenail!”

"Who's a good girl? You're the good girl! Yes, you are!"

“Hi Daisy! You’re so cute.”

Recently, someone on Twitter said, “I say hi to my dog like, 600 times a day,” and I laughed so hard, because here is a person who clearly also works at home, writing or spamming or filling in spreadsheets or whatever. Because this is how it works: Anytime you leave the computer, you say hi to your dog, stop to pet her, check the mail, grab a snack, say hi to the dog again, get back on the computer, and yell at her to stop barking at the wind. 

Basically, we can conclude two things: 1) working at home is not conducive to personal hygiene. Therefore, we should pity Mr. Riley. 2) People who work from home (i.e. shut-ins) need a pet or two to talk to, just to keep their social skills sharp.

14 comments:

  1. Thank god I'm not the only one. I tell my dogs what I'm doing. "Going to shower now, be right back." or "You don't have to follow me, I'm just getting a snack." or the most troubling is probably when I ask, "What should I wear today." They inevitably always tell me to stay in my pajamas.

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  2. Hahah!!! I love it! I can't believe I forgot "You don't have to follow me!"

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  3. So true! Although I often feel that the benefit to my sanity from the companionship
    is almost completely offset by All. The. Barking. ahhhhhhh!

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  4. Personal worst has been towards the cat sadly meowing for attention while I stress over a copy deadline; "Stop now. Please stop! You have no problems. No one wants anything from you!!"

    Yeah, that's when you know it's time for a stretch (or gin) break.

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  5. "Why is my big toe hot?" HAHAHAHAHA. My most crazy was this one:

    "What is that pain in my back all about? Is that my kidney? Dear God my kidney hurts. Where are my kidneys, exactly?"

    36 hours without a shower? IS THAT ALL? I see your 36 and raise you so many more that I'm reluctant to share them here.

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  6. I don't have a pet do who is it that I'm talking to all day? And I don't think I've speed since sunday!

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  7. Ok and I also don't know how to communicate via blog comments either apparently

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  8. I love working from home. I had a conference call this morning with the middle east. Only problem was that the cats were so thrilled I was there that they thought they should have all my attention. So they wouldn't shut up. And then they started fighting and chasing each other. So I had to *6 and then I kept having to #6 to contribute.

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  9. This is brilliant! I do not work from home but talk to my cats all the time. I think I may have to post something similar so thank you for inspiring me, I am trying to get back into the blogosphere and failing miserably (most of my inspiration came from going to karaoke and watching drunk people).

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  10. Thanks for sharing this with us. I most of the time while working in front of the computer cannot stand. As you say, there are times that taking shower also is being postponed. You have a dog. I do not have anyone. I'm totally alone.
    And I start talking by myself alone.
    At least at night I go out.

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  11. I found this post through Greenduckiesgirl. Hysterical.

    Yeah, I also ask, "Is it really necessary to follow me?" Then I explain to them that I'm only going to the bedroom and coming right back. They don't need to leave their comfy dog bed. But they do, see. They need to know if I'm going to take a nap. Can't have that happen without them!

    Husband informs people that he knows exactly where I am and when I'm moving because of the dog collars.

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