Here’s the Wind-up, and…..The Pitch

I have two favors to ask of you, followed by one general announcement. First, if you are interested in supporting good music (and who isn’t), please check out my bro-in-law Safety Joe’s band, Runway 36; every time someone new listens to both of their latest songs, "Welcome to the Afterall" and "All for Show" here, they are one step closer to landing a spot on the Warped Tour. (You can also find their page by clicking on the image below.) Fun stuff, people! And they're GOOD. I am very impressed by this kind of thing, and if they win, they will be on the same bill as Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, which was the first band I ever saw live in concert.

(My apologies to the band if my uncoolness has just sullied their image.)

Second, if anyone knows of any vacancies for a high school English teacher in the Chicago suburbs / southeastern Wisconsin area, please let me know. My younger brother Jake’s position was just axed due to budget cuts (and his “low man on the totem pole” status), so any leads are much appreciated! He's smart, funny, and has the skills & knowledge it takes to churn out classrooms of well-adjusted, literate kids ready to contribute to society.

Third, if you’ll be in the Oshkosh, WI area on April 8th, I’ll be presenting some workshops on my novel & writing in general at Limelite Studios as part of the “Destination Downtown Oshkosh” event. For the low, must-act-now, bargain-basement-blowout price of $25 in advance and $30 at the door, here’s what you get:

• An "exclusive downtown discount booklet"
• A runway fashion show with exciting prizes (by "exciting prizes," I hope they mean a superpower toolbelt that can make me invisible, pay all my bills, and end worldwide hunger. A chocolate-dipped Cillian Murphy would also suffice.)
• Free pastries and mimosas. (Sugary baked goods and BOOZE, people. If that doesn’t get you, maybe the tablescaping will.)
• Yoga & massage
• Jewelry making
• Tablescaping (I think this means learning how to arrange candles, stones, fabric, and potpourri in an attractive manner on a table. Because my tables are covered in a landslide of magazines and paperwork, I’m afraid there will be no scaping in my house.)
• Health testing
• "Pampering galore" (This has nothing to do with changing a baby in a cramped bathroom. I'm sure of it.
  

And if you sign up for my workshops, we'll chat about my book. And writing. And the trials and tribulations of getting an agent. I’ll try to keep the awkward buffoonery to a minimum, unless that is what the attendees wish. Here’s the front of the brochure. Isn’t that cute and girly? I may not be hip enough for this, but I’ll give it a whirl. Registration is at the Algoma Club (107 Algoma Blvd, Oshkosh, WI) at 10 am on Saturday April 8th. Here's some more info about the day on the website of one of my favorite stores. Hope to see you there! Unless doing so would impose a financial and emotional hardship on you. In that case, I'm sure I'll be blogging about the day later.