Friday, June 16, 2006

Countdown to New Siding and My Trip.

I may have mentioned that J and I are siding the house this summer. (After we excavate and pour a concrete driveway, build a garage, install brick-like skirting around the base of the house, and eliminate malaria in sub-Saharan Africa.) I'm excited about this because Yaaay! No more hovel-like exterior! Then in the future, when I go on a flower planting binge, I won't feel like I'm sprinkling sugar on a turd. The big question now, the one I'm posing in this public forum, is this: what colors should we go with? Our house is all white right now, and it's kind of working an old cottagey / colonial saltbox vibe. We're torn between dark gray with white trim, a sunny yellow with dark green and white trim, a strange sage tint that is not in the sample book and as such would have to be special-ordered (but that J has become quite an advocate for anyway) with white trim? maybe beige? and an adobe clay color that would be convenient but perhaps better suited for new construction. Many homes in our neighborhood are white, tan, gray, light blue, and two the pukey pinky peach color Crayola dubbed "flesh." Because in the seventies, the Binney & Smith execs believed that only white people colored.

I know, it's a real life and death issue. The bigger matter is, we have new neighbors. And based on the near-constant nagging/shouting from their deck, they have a son named Noah! And a tribe of teenagers with ample free time! And two dogs and a cat! And everyone hangs out on the deck all day, despite the delivery of 136 storage pods that surely await unpacking! And I can't wait to plant some privacy shrubs!

Also, I've booked my ticket home from the roadtrip. Denver to Wisconsin, but a layover in Atlanta. It reminds me of the bit from the old SNL sketch featuring Yul Brynner's similarly bald sister as a travel agent saying in a heavily accented voice to someone on the phone, "No. You cannot get there directly. You have to CHANGE in ATLANTA." Does anyone other than my brother and me remember this bit? Anyone?

Finally, did anyone other than me and a bunch of middle-aged women watch AFI's "100 Years, 100 Cheers" most inspiring films countdown on CBS the other night?* Well guess which film was selected as the coveted Most Inspiring Film of All Time. That's right. It's a Wonderful M*th%erf*^%#ing Life. Only my favoritest movie ever. ("She's about to close up the library!") Suck on that, Driving Miss Daisy. I kid. I actually try really, really hard to find something to like in almost every movie I watch. Even if the only thing I find is that the film has an ending.

*Please, no cracks about how I could very possibly be middle-aged already. I'm not. Also, I'm only kidding about my neighbors. I'm sure they're very nice people.


  1. If you're going to re-sell in 5 years, pick what's going to help the sale. Otherwise, I leave those decisions to my husband because I'm wretched at making them.

  2. Yeah flesh colored houses are the best. Mine is painted flesh. That way I can spy on my neighbors by getting naked and standing against the wall. They can't even see me in broad daylight.

  3. Yay for major home overhauling! At last, someone to join me in the pain. ;-) Hm. I vote gray with white. Oh wait, that's what we did. Personally, I love it.
    Boo for noisy neighbors. Hopefully it won't be too bad.
    Can't wait for your trip - OH the blogging fodder! We expect it, you know.

  4. Sprinkling sugar on a turd? -- snort.

  5. I'm sure they are very nice people too. Still, better get those shrubs planted. Stat.

  6. Hmmm. Colors. Not one of my strong points, which is why every room inside our house is still the same dull white as when we bought the house a year and a half ago. All your suggestions sound good. As for neighbors, I hope they settle down soon. Ours are meth-heads who fight loudly and love alcohol. Oh, and they have dogs. Noisy ones.

  7. When you have to say you aren't middle aged - YOU ARE SO MIDDLE-AGED. Especially, if that is your fav movie. And, remember old skits (personally, I admit to M.A. and don't remember that). That is some crazy ass plane changing.

    Well, ol'Jess, good luck with the picking out of colors. I am a neutral person. Neutrals are always safe.

  8. I believe that Jan Hooks may have played that Character on SNL....

    And now I will go and drink to my sad, wasted youth....

  9. Too weird - I just wrote up a Cool Mom Picks (Shameless! Shameless!) piece about some cool crayons and made the same flesh crack. That one has always stuck in my craw.

    I can only tell you what colors NOT to use. While down in SC last week, there was lots of turquoise and violet and magenta and teal. Kid you not.

  10. Good luck with the whole malaria thing - ambitious goal for someone not yet middle aged.

    I vote for the sage color, and would paint the trim and front door black, because I watch far too much "Curb Appeal."

  11. I like yellow houses. I do. It has the be the right kind of house in the right neighborhood, but yellow houses have always appealed to me.

    Did you say you will be in Denver? Wanna go out drinking?

  12. All your colors are nice. But ask yourself- do you want to be nice or memorable? I'm thinking plaid. Maybe a nice MacIntosh tartan kind of thing. You won't even need house numbers. You can just say "I'm in the plaid house" and everyone will know how to find you. The neighbors will be silenced by the mere sight of the place. Now that would be cool. Otherwise I could go gray.

  13. I have never seen It's A Wonderful Life in its entirety....can you believe that shit? Yet I've seen A Christmas Story probably 4,983 and a 1/2 times.

    I'm not sure what to tell you for the house color, but don't pick bright purple. There's a purple house in town and it looks hilarious. Only Prince could get away with having a purple house. :D

  14. I like the sounds of dark grey with white trim, although the special-order sage sounds pretty tempting, too.

    Sprinkling sugar on a turd? Best analogy ever.

  15. Check out Home Depot's paint (BEHR, I think?) Summerhouse Blue. I LOVE it! If I had a summerhouse, I would paint it that blue. Instead, it's the color we painted the guest bath.

  16. My house is the "special order sage" (actually I believe it's name was English Ivy).
    I went with almond trim and doors. The sales rep said it was his first time in 30 years to use those two colors together. I wanted a old-fashioned look, thus the sage, but I was afraid a white trim would make it look "dated". I think the almond is perfect!
    Brass mail box and house numbers. My house is very "cottage look". I have lots of vintage flowers, bird houses, feeders, and such.
    I haven't done it yet, but I want to add a "white limestone" siding to cover the foundation.
    If you want, I could email you a picture of our place. I checked my blog and can't find any pics of my house!
    Our house is between the orange brick home and the light pink house. Honestly, there were only so many colors we could go with. It was a dark green.

  17. I must be living in cultural no-man's land. I missed both the SNL skit and the AFI show. All i can do is perfect my "the next Martha Stewart" act and discuss one of my favorite topics, paint color.

    First, you should pause for a moment and bow to the goddess of paint that you can get away with such lovely colors. Here in our Spanish-style stucco homes in the desert, sunny yellow and sage green would be...just all wrong.

    Most important in your decision making? What mood do you want to evoke when you and your friends and family drive up and see your house?

    Personally, I love the idea of the the sunny yellow, because yellow brightens up everyone's world, but the green trim sounds wrong somehow. Maybe a bright white trim? LOVE the sage, but this sounds like a more sophisticated look. Again, it's all about mood.

    Good luck to you! Send us pictures when it's done!

  18. I'm intrigued by the sage, although I think the gray sounds nice, too.

    Don't remember the skit. Perhaps I should head to the Museum of Television and Radio to look it up. I luuurve old SNL skits.

  19. I definitely vote for the yellow or green, because beige, tan, taupe, etc. are NOT really colors. I am sooo tired of the suburban -housing- development- "neutral" free- for- all. I recently saw a yellow house with a cool Mediterranean blue trim- maybe that instead of the green?
    I totally remember the SNL sketch, and isn't there some joke about having to change in Atlanta on your way to heaven?
    My husband's family has the "polish a turd" analogy, as in "you can't polish a turd". Funny.
    Have a great trip to Denver!

  20. Good luck with your siding and new neighbors! I've been in your very position, concrete, siding, new neighbors...and it was touch and go for awhile, but it's all good now. I'm sending good vibes your way!

    P.S. we did yellow with white trim, and we likey. :) have fun on your trip!

  21. "I won't feel like I'm sprinkling sugar on a turd" LMAO. I'm so stealing that. In fact, I'm searching for some excuse to use it in the office right now.

    As far as house colors go, I'm partial to soothing earthy tones, greens usually. But then again, I'm a high stress person who needs any kind of soothing I can get. :)

  22. Go with the sage. In my experience, and I've had almost none, Sage is a can't miss color. In fact, every single time someone has commented, "That's a great color, what is it?" the answer is, invariably, Sage.

  23. We sided our last house a nice soft steel blue. It was a little different than all the other white/beige/grey houses in the hood but yet didn't scream Jeff Foxworthy either. No matter what though you're gonna love the change!

  24. Too funny. Doing a Google search on the Yul Brynner "You have to change in Atlanta" skit and found your post. I also have to change in Atlanta in March and thought of that skit!