Stuff, Glorious STUFF! (My Ode to Dangerously Easy Online Shopping--Now with Extra Parentheses!)

It’s been said (by me, just now) that one can tell a lot about a person by the mail order companies they patronize (and speak condescendingly to). So, in the spirit of the whole “information superhighway” that this blog is suckling at the teat of (I absolutely hate that phrase, but it always cracks me up in a most goofy way, so I had to use it at least once here), let’s discuss the online / mail-order companies we throw our disposable income at.

Here are some online vendors I wholeheartedly recommend supporting, even though they're not paying me to say so nor have they asked me for a plug. I simply like them THAT MUCH.

Let’s begin with gardening—especially online purveyors of plants. I want to begin here because right now, this is the area I am currently blowing my future child’s diaper fund in. ‘Tis the season!

1) Graceful Gardens. Planting Party People in the House. Do you like large, healthy flowers? Do you like saving money? Clickity-click that lil’ mouse on over to order up a tray of some gorgeous perennials and annuals. They specialize in delphiniums and breaking my heart because I only have so much space in which to plant. (I promise an update later in the season on how my Graceful Gardens bebehs do in my new flowerbeds.) I know, this is another porch shot, but look at the size of those plants! They are worthy of inclusion in a Godzilla-themed diorama, or perhaps to serve as backdrop to Barbie's Ecotourism Romp in Costa Rica (the one that bastard Ken refused to go on with her, because he's afraid of bugs. What a f*cking baby, that Ken.)


2) Bluestone Perennials. Another winner. Ordered and planted some anise hyssop, astilbe, asters, and columbine last fall. And despite a solid trampling by some beefy contractors plus subzero temps this winter, 90% of these bebehs are already churning out the foliage. I am expecting another shipment from Bluestone later this week.

3) Spring Valley Roses. I just received 9 bareroot plants from Spring Valley. They are in this giant box, scaring the dickens out of me because they will require much digging. I apologize in advance, back muscles.

Daisy, you are no help to me with this planting project. Get some opposable thumbs and we’ll talk.

I had nothing to do with the torn linoleum to my right.
Nor did I have anything to do with the chewed trimwork to my left.
I swear.
Okay, but you know I really had nothing to do with the ghetto doorframe.
And what the hell is up with this giant box of plants?

SWEET SCOOBY-- MY FRONT LEGS...WHERE ARE THEY?!?!?!

Ohmygod. Something in this giant box just moved.

4) I also support Gardener’s Supply Company and Gardens Alive! Seriously; how could I not support a company with an “Alive!” family of products? It makes my heart want to tapdance and hum a happy tune.

5) I am expecting two rose bushes (the elusive and delicately-petaled Fru Dagmar Hastrup rugosa, rumored to be of heady scent with hips to boot in fall) from High Country Roses next week. The company and its product come highly recommended. I will let you know if my expectations are exceeded or dashed against the giant rocks we keep discovering in our garden excavations.

On to the beauty products.

1) DHC. I got sucked in to the DHC cult after receiving some glorious free samples. Expensive products, but you get free samples with every catalog (and they seem to come monthly). I highly recommend the Deep Cleansing Oil. And did I mention the free samples?

2) I recently received some quality samples (not free, but inexpensive) from Emerita skincare products. Visiting their website, I see they also specialize in products to enhance sexual vitality. I have not tried this sexual vitality line of products. (Come on, click…you know you want to.)

Pet products! I buy Daisy’s food at a lovely Ma Shop (there’s no Pop) a block from my office. But from time to time, I also support:

1) Drs. Foster and Smith. Heck, they’re from Wisconsin. Yadderhey, ya know?

2) Sitstay.com. I recommend the Tripett green beef tripe, but plug your nose when you open the can. The scent will defoliate the small hairs in your nostrils, and strip the cilia from your lungs. And then you will probably throw-up.

3) Only Natural Pet. When Daisy had her bleeding muzzle issue last fall, I zeroed in on this place as a potential salvation. I still feed her half an allergy tab when she’s looking wilty.

Teas:
1) The Tea Table

2) Paper Street Teas

Both companies offer a delightful looseleaf green tea with cherry infusion. (The Tea Table lets you order free samples. Free! It’s one of my favorite words.)

Coffees: Thanksgiving Coffee Company. Pick your flavor / pick your cause.

I’m not even going to discuss the clothing I order online now and then, because it’s just really uninspiring and sad. Of course, I also order scads of books online. And vitamins. And candles. And other perishables and non-perishables that come in boxes and make it feel like Christmas until I get the bill. And I don’t even have CHILDREN yet!!!

Whew. I'm spent.

So where do you shop online?