(Not that I’m anyone’s favorite author; I just try to play one on TV.) But I digress. I even maintain a file called “tweets and FB updates,” and anytime something funny happens I drop it in, tinker around with it, post it somewhere later or not. I’ve only recently been tweeting more, and my attitude toward Twitter has changed from “I’m way too old and cranky for these shenanigans” to “I wonder if anyone will retweet my post about Paul Ryan doing kegels during the #SOTU?”Deciding what to post is trickier. I have the most fun just being my goofy self. But when I have an author event or book release on deck, I start to really sweat, because I HATE—yes all four capital letters--HATE posting promo stuff. I always imagine people wrinkling their nose or thinking, “Not her again!” or “Yeah, we heard you the first time, Braggy Annoystein.”
It’s fairly safe to assume that if you’ve just seen a post anywhere from me about my books, I’m curled in a ball beneath my desk, sweat beading my upper lip, waiting for my intestines to stop spasming. Two posts down? I nearly DIED after I wrote that.Because really, it’s great to put the word out that you’ve released something new, or if you’ll be at the Bedford Falls Public Library this Thursday night reading gluten-free haikus or your book is on sale for negative cents this weekend, but then I like to sit back and see what happens organically. Because sometimes on Twitter it feels like I’m running down the midway at the local carnival and everyone’s shouting at me: “Buy my book! Buy my sales tool! Buy now! Buy later! Die penniless and alone in a ditch if you don’t! Aaiiieeeeee!”
So I try to stick to witty shit like, “Sonicare toothbrushes are great, if you always wondered what the noon whistle would sound like going off inside your head.”OR:
Me: “Wow, did you hear my stomach gurgle?”J: “It’s the sound of your body turning pizza into poop!” #ValentinesDay #SoRomantic! #married 10years
This is the kind of groundbreaking humor you’re missing when don’t follow me on Twitter.I recently even went so far as to delete any references to the titles of my books on my Twitter home page. I figure if people find me amusing, they know where to find me (usually here, or eating Feta right from the container in front of American Pickers on my new couch). I’ve never bought a book because of a Twitter post, but I have started to follow other authors more closely because they’re funny, they have interesting things to say, they link to informative articles. It always boils down to relationship-building, doesn’t it? And knowing when to hold ‘em, and when to walk away.
Now PINTEREST, on the other hand...that will have to be a new post. With lots of photos of recipes I'll never make.