Friday, November 18, 2005

One big lumpy holiday

So yesterday I was driving to a meeting in Plainfield, Wisconsin and passed two truckloads of freshly cut and bound Christmas trees. People, it's not even Thanksgiving! These trees will be perfectly crispy fire hazards on New Year's Eve, if their new owners haven't tossed them to the curb by then. And have you noticed that the Christmas stuff was in a few stores NEXT to the Halloween candy? Pretty soon we won't have a unique Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Festivus, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, or winter solstice. It'll all be rolled into one big blur. We'll hang jack o' lanterns and gourds on our trees and hand out turkey sandwiches and dreidels to trick-or-treaters. And then after New Year's, nothing. Nothing but some stale candy canes and slightly-off eggnog to nurse our post-holiday letdown.

By the way, Plainfield is the hometown of Ed Gein, inspiration for the movie Silence of the Lambs. My late grandfather was a guard at Central State Hospital, where Ed spent the rest of his days after the...ahem...incidents. Apparently, ol' Ed was a model prisoner. Creepy as hell, but he kept to himself.

Now, who wants some eggnog!!!

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