Monday, January 08, 2007

Well, it wasn't a dance-dance-revolution

So I had one of those weekends…you know, where you begin Saturday with your devout grandmother and end up in a gay bar around 1:49 a.m. doing the Cabbage Patch, Running Man, the Shopping Cart, and other assorted seizures (did I say seizures? I mean DANCE MOVES) from that recent era of neon annoyance. (My grandmother was no longer with me by that point. If she had been, now THAT would have been a blog entry.)

One of my favorite conversations from the night took place between me and a man that made my week by telling me and my friends that our presence was like a traveling party. (But when you have a boyfriend like his, QVC probably looks like a disco inferno.)

Me, shamelessly trotting out my forthcoming novel again (surprise, surprise): “I wrote a book! It’s coming out next year.”

Him: “Really? You’re a writer? Ohmygosh! What’s your book about?”

Me, boiling it down to the barest of bones: “A girl has a kidney transplant and takes a wacky roadtrip.” (Here’s the part I left out: “There are tears! There are chuckles! There is an inflatable Jesus doll and a mechanical bull, but sadly, not in the same scene!”)

Him, looking as if I just told him I’d adopted a physically deformed child: “Awwww! I love those kinds of stories. I watch Lifetime all the time!”

Me, thinking that I wasn’t really going for a Lifetimey mood with the book, cackling like a crazy woman: “Can I write a blog entry about you?”

Him: “Why not?”

So there you have it. In other news, I've actually written 80 pages so far for Book Number Two.

But here’s where things go to sh*t in a shopping cart. Work is about to steal the milk money from and beat the living snot out of all of my free time. Which is the norm with deadline-driven jobs. Just ask your tax preparer.

So it is with a heavy heart that I must bid you adieu for a few months, new characters who were just getting interesting; do something crazy while I’m gone. I’ll write about it later. Oh, and if you could develop yourselves a bit more, that would be great.

(The blog will maintain its weekly updates, more often if something interesting happens.)

Movies seen over the weekend: Children of Men. Two definite thumbs up from this household.
New recipes tried: mini-Southwestern quiches with hash brown crust. J gives it an enthusiastic endorsement--a very high honor indeed. I'm ambivalent.
Cleaning attempted: Who are we kidding?
Games played: Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble, which was given to a nine year-old me in Christmas of 1983. Realized for the first time that it was the "Large Type Edition." (Mom, you're a visionary. And practical!)
Dogs Being Naughty: One. See below.

Fed up with our snow-free winter, Daisy decides to take matters into her own paws.


  1. I think what is missing in fiction today is stories with bulls and Jesus dolls in the same scene.

    LOVED! Children of Men. Saw it this weekend too.

  2. Anonymous10:44 PM

    I'm hoping to see "Children of Men" next week at some point (probably after one of my minimester Shakespeare courses).

  3. Oooh, that Lifetime comment would creep me out too. Well, not "creep," but possibly disturb.

    I cannot wait for your book...but I guess I must. In the meantime, your blog will more than suffice.

    Just stopping by to say hello. Adorable dog, by the way...

  4. Git 'er done! I'm ready for your book, too, so keep us posted.

    Daisy is adorable but doesn't look even a little bit guilty...

  5. Noooo don't go. Not when I have just discovered that we share a passion for "QVC - too hot to broadcast" DVDs.

  6. Anonymous3:31 PM

    I hope that your break from blogging is incredibly productive! Have a good break!

  7. (Beck & Moobs: I'll still be blogging at least once a week, but sadly, the other recreational writing will have to go on the back burner for a few months.)

  8. Jess, see my post this coming Monday. My good friend and Hollywood Film Genius is weighing in with her top 10 of 2006. She does this every year but this year I have a blog and she is letting me post it.

    We're all crazy out here with the awards season. It's the absolute best!!

    Can I have Daisy?

  9. When your book is published, I'm totally going to scream "I know her! Kind of!" when I see it in the bookstore. :)

    Gutting stuffies must be a little dog thing. Mine can make the living room look like Christmas morning in twelve seconds flat if you give him a soft toy. The truly disturbing thing about it is that he always goes for the eyeballs first.

  10. i'm so glad to know you are sticking around and not giving up totally! write your 2nd book on the toliet if you have to but don't give up on the blog.

    i'm selfish like that..

  11. Living with a writer, I know all about shameless self-promotion. Geoff's book is harder to describe. It's a non-fiction book about a foot race that no one has ever heard of. People go a little blank when I try to describe it.

    Only you could work "Grandmother" and Gay bar" into one blog post. Rock on, Jess.

  12. Anonymous10:50 AM

    Glad to see you're still here. Blogging is very time consuming, I know, but we love keeping up with what you're doing. So here's to hoping you still find time to blog.

  13. Anonymous1:57 PM

    i wish you the best of your luck with your #2!

    well, you know what I mean!

  14. But we'll miss you so :(
    Best of luck on the new book. Keep the manuscript away from Daisy, though. She is pretty fierce! :)

  15. Anonymous7:42 PM

    What a cute dog. I think it's so funny to watch pets tear apart toys like that.

  16. Anonymous10:16 PM

    Did I ever mention I'm a bookseller at one of the big dog stores?

    I promise to hand-sell the hell out of your book!

    You can thank me with lattes.

  17. How do I not know the Shopping Cart?

    If your publisher doesn't send you to my relatively-podunky-yet-very-cool Southern beach town for your book tour, whatever will I do?

    I'm full of unanswerable questions today.

  18. Anonymous2:52 PM

    Hee - that's funny.
    Go Daisy!

  19. I plan on naming my first dog Frollie. I loved Children of Men.

  20. Shit in a shopping cart? THAT'S hilarious. My husband likes to say, "Shit on Toast" sometimes. Also funny.

    Sorry about the lifetime comment. It's the transplant. It will be OK.

  21. I'd like to see a photo illustration of the shopping cart. I think it must be similar to what we called the baby stroller. Or does it involve actually picking things off of imaginary shelves and placing them into a cart, or in my case power walking through the grocery store as fast as I can and flinging things into it.

  22. Anonymous2:10 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  23. Am both delighted and envious that you're off to tend to book #2 with such commitment that it keeps you from this place. Looking forward to the weekly reports - whenever they might occur.

  24. I need to hide away and write too. I am right now seeking book fodder for a good premise.

    Good luck - we will miss you!

    I think that dog toy needed a good whipping and Daisy was just the dog to do it!