Sunday, July 27, 2008

Pew Mates and the Princess Who Lives in the (Best) Bathroom (Ever)

We just returned from a wedding in Minnesota, and I’m that kind of cross-eyed, achey exhausted that conveys three clear messages: you slept poorly because the too-thick hotel pillows kept your neck bent at a 60 degree angle, there was an open bar and you spent too much time bellied-up to it, and any time you do enjoy an open bar a little too much and stay up a little too late the night before, count on the hotel to send a team of workers to strip wallpaper right outside your room at dawn the next morning.

Despite the lack of sleep (or maybe because of it), we had a great time with old friends. Young ones, too. The reception was an elegant but low-key affair at The Loring Pasta Bar in Dinkytown Minneapolis. Not only did Bob Dylan sleep here in the sixties, but this restaurant has one of the most amazing bathrooms I've ever seen. It was like walking into a fairy tale--Pan’s Labyrinth meets Alice in Wonderland on a cobblestone street in Merry Olde England. With oversized chrome rain shower heads for faucets! And pipes bent to look like tree branches! And giant plants and curving, old brick walls and firefly lights and mismatched doors! If you are a six year-old with a good imagination, you will probably report back to the table that you saw hobbits peeking around the garbage can and fairies living above the soap dispenser.

Any time you travel, life can feel like a blur, but I did manage to capture the following snippets of amusing dialogue:

OVERHEARD...

At the church service, a three year old watching his mother walk up the main aisle to take communion: “Dad, why are Emily and Mom getting married?”

Also at the church, our pew mates on the large, attractive posters of corn seedlings (meant to convey new life and hope) hung behind the altar: “What, do they worship corn here?”

Relaxing in a hotel room after a night of pizza, wine, and gin and tonics: “I think that the word ’Snatch’ is the Phoenix University of slang terms for female genitalia.” (I'm ashamed to admit that an inordinate amount of time was then spent trying to decide what the Harvard of genital slang would be. But we did decide that the 'P word' was a good, solid state school with a nice football team and marching band.)

The mother of a wide-eyed little girl who insisted on returning to the very awesome fairy tale bathroom, to the bride: “She wanted to come back to see the princess who lives in the bathroom.”

A clerk at a gas station / convenience store, on the phone: “Whatever. At least I’M not the one who f*cked five guys at Rock Fest after drinking a whole bottle of whiskey!”

After the clerk realized that my husband overheard her sassy sentence, she blushed and nearly tore the phone from the wall trying to run away.

I leave for San Francisco on Tuesday, so there will be more updates from the road / stiff necks / sleepless nights / strange bits of dialogue in the days to come.

23 comments:

  1. it is so good to see you!

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  2. haha! that gas station clerk is rad.

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  3. So you broke Blogging Rule #1, never go anywhere without your camera.

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  4. I just love weddings. And I love how little girls conceptualize what is happening. How funny!

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  5. Ooh! Loring Pasta Bar! You're right: that is easily one of the best bathrooms in the Twin Cities. I didn't know they did wedding receptions at that place; I'm sure it was gorgeous.

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  6. georgiaonmymind8:57 AM

    we had too much fun - I can't wait to do it again! This would not have been the post I'd hoped for if you hadn't included our Friday night gin chat. Don't forget the "t" word was the Devry/ITT Tech institute of genitalia.

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  7. Fun blog, I'm going to go check out your book right now:)

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  8. I've got to eavesdrop more. Sounds like you had fun and safe traveling to San Francisco! I hope to see you there.

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  9. OMG....love, the gas clerk's comment....that was priceless.

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  10. Okay the gas clerk was the best. Can't wait to hear more from the road. ( And I'm sure we'll see some of them in one of your books someday!)

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  11. is this fodder? for your next book? because it's good stuff, lady.

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  12. Looks like I'll have to neglect informing yall next time I'm come strolling through your podunk town.
    Ha.
    And to think about how bored I was this weekend. And how the Loring
    Pasta Bar is 10 minutes from my house.

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  13. can. not. wait. to. see. you.
    CAN NOT

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  14. Okay, Jess, Las Vegas is only an hour flight away from San Francisco! And it looks like you have 6 days between there and WI!

    I think I would take Snatch over the P-word anyday.

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  15. Hope you're having a great trip now that you're back out on the road again! I loved your little snippets of dialogue. Hilarious. People really are funny creatures, even when they don't intend to be.

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  16. Surcie7:15 PM

    Ah, Rock Fest. Good times.

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  17. Excuse me... but I believe you have a standing order to look me up when you're in MN. I would travel 77 miles in a heartbeat to have a beer with you, which is exactly how far Dinkytown is from my place. I'm not too proud to crash a wedding party. ;-)

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  18. HapiBlogging to you my friend! Have a nice day!

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  19. Your story of the overheard conversations are great! I travel for a living and have heard some VERY interesting conversations on a plane, in an airport, etc. Haven't gotten your book just yet - have a pile of "summer" reads that I've yet to get through but glad that it's on it's 3rd printing so I'll pick mine up soon.

    Way to go - Congratulations!!

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  20. I wanna go visit that bathroom! And what a cool blog idea... Have a safe trip home. Won't be at San Fran this year. Sniff...guess it'll be DC.

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  21. I'm still working on the perfect slang word..

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  22. Dang, you're HERE. I should buy you a drink. But you're busy doing book things. Sigh. Too bad you weren't at a local bookstore...I would have stopped by. :)

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  23. This just cracked me up. Thank you.

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