Saturday, January 14, 2006

Mr. De Mille, I'm not ready for my close up

Random thoughts:

1) The big author photo shoot is next week and I'm getting a zit on my cheek that may soon be large enough to merit a unique zip code.

2) The furnace is fixed, the dog is clean, and last night I met a man so drunk he asked me what my major was and whether or not I'd been published in the Wisconsin Review three times. So thanks to my zit and recent run of Crest Whitestrips, I guess I've still got that "college kid" glow. (And piss off to the bouncer at French Quarter who laughed at my ID a few months ago.)

3) If you meet a young man who is six foot nine, don't ask him how tall he is and whether or not he plays basketball. You'll just insult him and end up feeling like a cliched a-hole.

4) It's official. I must now apply for membership in the Idiot Girls' Action Adventure Club. As I was getting ready to leave my meeting with the school people Thursday night, putting my coat on and shaking hands and whatnot, the superintendent smiled at me and said, "Looking forward to reading the book!" A normal person would have responded with, "Thanks! I'll let you know when it's out." But what did I do? Gave him a Thumbs-Up, Fonzie-style, and then almost ran from the building.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy.

Are you cringing along with me? Good. I sincerely hope my mortification makes your day that much brighter, your step that much lighter.

13 comments:

  1. Zits suck. I'm actually getting a facial Tuesday morning that will hopefully help clear up mine.

    On the bright side, the photographer can totally photoshop yours out--or you could go to a dermatologist for a cortisone injection if you felt like it. Good luck!

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  2. The Fonzie thumbs up just cracked me right up. LOL.

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  3. Hi.
    Just had to say, in a non sucking up way that yours is one of the funniest blogs I've ever read, and I will definitely buy your book!!

    Janet G

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  4. Yeah, I cracked up at the Fonzie thing, too! LOL..

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  5. Book for book -- sounds like a fair trade to me! I'll stay tuned to see when yours comes out, for sure. Congratulations!

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  6. Anonymous9:01 AM

    my nephew is in town that is 19 years old and 6'9" and plays basketball. I wonder if he's the one who hit on you? He goes to LaCrosse. You'll have to let me know.

    Your friend at Winnebago Co.

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  7. Hey LK! :) The tall man is a student at UW-O and I think he's 28. And he says he never played basketball, either! Guess ya never know.

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  8. Personally I think the "thumbs up" sign should be our new way of doing business. It will save a lot of time in the long run. And don't worry about a zit. That's why God invented concealer.

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  9. Fonzie, huh.... A high school teacher of mine used to call those "pillow biting" moments, as in the kind of moments you think of lying in bed at night and you have to bite your pillow to stop from screaming.

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  10. ginamarina3:35 PM

    heehee. damn zits. I'm going to get wrinkles and zits at the same time. Mother told me this would go away!!

    umm.. those tall people can be touchy about the whole "basketball" assumption... and they don't necessarily appreciate "How's the weather up there?" either. =)

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  11. I cringed with you, but would LOVE for someone to tell me they're looking forward to reading my book! LOL

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  12. LOL! Manic Mom, I'm looking forward to reading your book! *sending positive vibes to those agents* :)

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  13. I would have never believed it in a million and one years, but this a.m. I tried toothpaste (minty whitening, in case yer interested) on a burgeoning zit and left it on while getting ready for work and when I finally scraped the paste off, the zit, tho still painful, was flat again.

    So strange!

    Love the blog and will continue to read. Congrats on the book!

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