Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A peek into the mind of today’s 19 year-old

To celebrate the end of the school year, I want to share a few more anonymous journal entries from my favorite college freshmen in the whole world. Also because I am feverishly writing some scintillating blog entries which will be posted with the Debs and with Heidi on Friday. (The 'scintillating' is entirely subjective.) So, if you want to reminisce about the 70s or hear more of my neurotic thoughts on having a book published, stop by and say 'hi.'

As a bonus, one of the entries below is something I actually wrote in my own journal at age 19. First one to guess correctly gets a special prize.

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“I went tanning today and burned the shit out of my skin. Gotta love it. Go skin cancer!”

“My roommate called it off with her boy toy and she was crying. I laughed inside. But she told me how he didn’t want to make her 3rd. I wouldn’t mind being 3rd, or even maybe 4th.”

“She was talking about how her teacher wouldn’t let her out of class for a funeral. She said something I didn’t expect. ‘She can just lick my twat.’

“I’m not telling my parents about the underage. They will hate me forever.”

“I think my roommate hates me. Almost everyone hates me. At least my boyfriend kind of likes me at times.”

“Screw money. I don’t care. It’s like the song says, ‘All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.’”

“Is it next week yet? That is what I’ve been saying all my life. That is why I don’t remember anything from the past.”

“I need an effin job already. Especially if I have to pay off my fucking sorority. I fucking hate those bitches. That was one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life.”

“I really need to do a few things. I want another piercing and a tattoo. Also I would like to dye my hair and lose some weight. And of course I should tan.”

“What is with all these little high school girls dressing like complete skanks?”

“Life is all about ass. Everyone either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.”

“I need to dye my hair pink again because the pink is almost all gone. Sad day.”

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So, the first one to guess which one I wrote back in 1994, you win something that makes me laugh. I'm not even hinting at what it might be. (Other than the making me laugh part.) You'll just have to take your chances. Also, visit Manic Mom and Kristabella to win a signed copy of Driving Sideways, and to experience the magic of bacon and awful vacation stories. Not necessarily together, but I'm hoping someone finds a way to merge the two. Robin Bielman was also kind enough to interview me.

More fun yet to come! And by fun, I may or may not mean anything involving butter, a Slip n' Slide, a bucket of nonpareils, and a large, fuzzy steering wheel cover.

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WE HAVE A WINNER: Congratulations to Suzanne! You were the first one to correctly guess that at age 19, I wrote the following in my journal: “Screw money. I don’t care. It’s like the song says, ‘All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.’”

Reaction in the Riley household consists of a great deal of choking laughter from The Mister. Suzanne is the lucky winner of the tiny white hand I found in my garden, plus something normal, too.

New post on Monday, kids. Have a great weekend!

21 comments:

  1. Ooh, I pick “I need an effin job already. Especially if I have to pay off my fucking sorority. I fucking hate those bitches. That was one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life.”

    Bring on the bling baby!

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  2. “I really need to do a few things. I want another piercing and a tattoo. Also I would like to dye my hair and lose some weight. And of course I should tan.”


    from: Yaya
    Jakarta

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  3. I was going to go with effin job one too, but instead I'll pick "Is it next week yet?..."

    Have a great week! :)

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  4. "Life is all about ass. Everyone either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.”

    LOL, picked this one cause it's so darn funny! Just love it.

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  5. I can't say if you're warm or cold yet w/o giving away the answer, and I'm having too much fun... So keep the guesses coming!

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  6. I love the ass quote! If it weren't so long, I'd say it needed to be on a bumper sticker. I think your quote is the one about "at least my boyfriend kind of likes me at times". I don't know why. It was screaming at me. Well, not literally. That would just be weird.

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  7. I say your quote is the ass one.

    But I love the 'lick my twat' one. You don't hear that every day! (and I felt dirty typing it... I'm such a geek.)

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  8. “I think my roommate hates me. Almost everyone hates me. At least my boyfriend kind of likes me at times.”

    Oh, wait, that was me at nineteen. My bad.

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  9. My guess is “Is it next week yet? That is what I’ve been saying all my life. That is why I don’t remember anything from the past.”

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  10. My guess... "I'm not telling about the underage..."

    Sounds like something I would have said.

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  11. For its inspiring, yet wholly naieve world view, I vote for:“Screw money. I don’t care. It’s like the song says, ‘All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.’”

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  12. Darn! Missed it by that much. I was going to guess the Screw money one too.

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  13. I'm personally for "go skin cancer!"

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  14. My comment went to Blogger Black Hole, I guess!!
    I picked the "Roommate called about her boy toy" one around noon. Oh, well.

    Can I just pick them all?

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  15. "I think my roommate hates me..."

    That's my guess, and I'm sticking to it.

    Although.... no, no, no! That's the one!

    Right?

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  16. Okay, the correct answer WAS given...I will be updating the post to make 'The Reveal' this afternoon. (You know, for drama and suspense.)

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  17. I'm sorry I missed guessing, but I loved reading these! I don't know that I would have really wanted that little white hand though--it was a bit on the creepy side. If you're ever giving away chocolates, I'll be here right away! :-)

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  18. They are all soo funny!
    Since I haven't won a copy of your book yet, I ordered it today from Target. Yay, I can't wait to read it. I will be checking my mail everday. I usually only check it on paydays, when I can actually afford to pay some of my bills.

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  19. I totally would have guessed the "go cancer"

    Curses

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  20. omg! jess riley reads my blog?!

    ~faint~

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