Two Weeks and Counting...

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

Wait...THOSE aren't PHONE BOOKS!

Some very exciting things are happening. First, I got books, y'all! I'll be giving away signed copies at several blogs near you in the next month. Second, I also got the biggest zit I've had since high school. Which is perfect because I was recently made aware of an 80's Prom Flashback party next Friday night. To get in, you have to wear your old prom dress and do-up your hair that scary way you did it in the eighties. When it looked like an artfully arranged tumbleweed that may have been home to a small family of shrews. The problem is this: none of my friends want to go with me!!! Because they are all pussies, afraid they might get a little Whitesnake on them. Okay, they're not really, they just have busy lives and that kind of thing.

(Uh, friends who are aware of this party? Yes, this is a challenge. A throw-down in non-Bobby Flay style. Go. Go into your closet and find that pouffy dress. Dig that dust-crusted can of Aqua Net out of the cabinet. Do not fear the eighties...embrace it...embrace the fear. Go with Jess to the party. Get drunk and do the running man. Let her take many photos. Now, shhh....go.)

To get you all in the mood (well, to get ME in the mood. Who am I kidding?) I am right now listening to "Der Kommissar" by After the Fire. And then I'm going to listen to the Go-Go's and then Big Country and then 'Til Tuesday and have a stroke and die happy. (Hi! I was only like eight or something when your music was popular, but I DON'T CARE! Just look at me like, nailing the vernacular in this post!)

Now where was I. Oh right! My zit! Well, it's developed quite a personality, I must say. It hates me, for one thing. It wants nothing more than to grab the spotlight and be a stoplight and pretty soon I'll be like Chris on that one episode of Family Guy, when his zit actually started talking to him and demanding daily applications of grease (internal and external).

Anyway, I'm going to just ignore it and tell you about something else. Something the "keepin' the cool side cool, the hot side hot" Eileen Cook did when her book came out. She hosted a Pimp My Book contest in which bloggers interested in getting the word out about her fabulous book Unpredictable (COMING SORTA SOON TO A MOVIE THEATER NEAR YOU!) agreed to post a review, Q & A with the author, guest author blog, book giveaway, or any other kind of fun little feature. So if anyone would like to uh, pimp my book on their blog between May 19 and June 1 (*shuffling feet and staring at them in true Midwestern anti-self-promotion fashion, because every molecule in my being kind of fights against the whole self-promotion thing .... unless I've had a glass or two of wine and there's ABBA playing*), let me know in the comments--we'll do it up.

Oh, I should mention that I'll pick two Bloggah Pimps at random for a $75 amazon gift card. There will also be signed copies in the mix somehow. And if you want to get creative (paging Kevin Charnas...paging Kevin Charnas...), we can do that, too. In fact, the crazier the better. Like, I want to hear about YOUR roadtrips from hell. (Preferably with photos.) Or you could just pose nude with the book covering your special purpose.

Two more things before I go refill my wine glass (What! You didn't think I could write an actual post about self-promotion SOBER, did you?!?!):

1) I'm having my photo taken this Thursday to accompany an article about the book for MKE. I'll be sitting in my car at a rest stop near a highway. Life, go on now: imitate art. Go on, it's fun! As my former priest Father Kevin used to flamboyantly say, "I LOVE it."

2) My actual real live website will be up and running some time soon. ("Look ma! I got me an ack-tyool website thingy, with one o' them 'http's and everything!") So at that point, no longer will you just see a bewildered looking Daisy peering up at the camera next to the "Coming Soon!" script. But I'll try to sneak her in there somehow.