But I thought I’d give you some updates on the scintillating life I lead. Tomorrow night I’m attending a fundraiser for the League of Women Voters to listen to a former state supreme court justice speak about women’s roles as peacekeepers. I know! It’s so grown-up and responsible. I’ll try not to make any farting noises from the back row, but I can’t promise anything. Plus, I’m going with a new acquaintance I picked up at a bar a few weeks ago. I’m hoping to turn her into a friend. Do you know how hard it is to meet friends just out and about in your city after college? Right. You have a better chance of suddenly developing X-Ray Vision, and I’m not talking about the kind you get from eating irradiated food. I’m talking REAL X-Ray Vision. The kind that might come in handy at a Christian Bale Look-alike Contest.
Anyway, I can already tell I will definitely be the slapstick, goof-off, neurotic, writes about boogers and pubes, possibly alcoholic element of the friendship. She will be the lawyer for the homeless, well-traveled, lived in like eleven countries, glamorous, smoking part of the relationship. I have our roles all mapped out! Now the trick will be not scaring her off with my spastic buffoonery. Which will mean suppressing 90 percent of my personality, but isn’t that what friendship is really all about?
Then on Friday I’m meeting MORE new friends at a drinking binge I mean writer’s conference near Chicago, including blogging dynamo Steph and her pal Trish, who looks so cute in that picture that I want to adopt her. I tell you, I am smashing through my comfort zone left and right! Sure, it would be easy to continue molding that ass-shaped impression I’ve developed on the couch while scarfing Cheetos and watching a Golden Girls marathon of episodes I’ve already seen twelve times each … but that’s no way to live! Okay, maybe on rainy Saturdays, hungover Sundays, and after the loss of a loved one, but certainly not during the last weekend in April!
I’ll post some updates on Sunday night about how the whole venturing-beyond-my-comfort-zone thing goes. In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of Daisy. Who is so territorial about urinating on other animal droppings during our walks that today she actually urinated on a splotch of bird poop in the middle of the sidewalk.