Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Newsworthy? Probably Not.

But I thought I’d give you some updates on the scintillating life I lead. Tomorrow night I’m attending a fundraiser for the League of Women Voters to listen to a former state supreme court justice speak about women’s roles as peacekeepers. I know! It’s so grown-up and responsible. I’ll try not to make any farting noises from the back row, but I can’t promise anything. Plus, I’m going with a new acquaintance I picked up at a bar a few weeks ago. I’m hoping to turn her into a friend. Do you know how hard it is to meet friends just out and about in your city after college? Right. You have a better chance of suddenly developing X-Ray Vision, and I’m not talking about the kind you get from eating irradiated food. I’m talking REAL X-Ray Vision. The kind that might come in handy at a Christian Bale Look-alike Contest.

Anyway, I can already tell I will definitely be the slapstick, goof-off, neurotic, writes about boogers and pubes, possibly alcoholic element of the friendship. She will be the lawyer for the homeless, well-traveled, lived in like eleven countries, glamorous, smoking part of the relationship. I have our roles all mapped out! Now the trick will be not scaring her off with my spastic buffoonery. Which will mean suppressing 90 percent of my personality, but isn’t that what friendship is really all about?

Then on Friday I’m meeting MORE new friends at a drinking binge I mean writer’s conference near Chicago, including blogging dynamo Steph and her pal Trish, who looks so cute in that picture that I want to adopt her. I tell you, I am smashing through my comfort zone left and right! Sure, it would be easy to continue molding that ass-shaped impression I’ve developed on the couch while scarfing Cheetos and watching a Golden Girls marathon of episodes I’ve already seen twelve times each … but that’s no way to live! Okay, maybe on rainy Saturdays, hungover Sundays, and after the loss of a loved one, but certainly not during the last weekend in April!

I’ll post some updates on Sunday night about how the whole venturing-beyond-my-comfort-zone thing goes. In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of Daisy. Who is so territorial about urinating on other animal droppings during our walks that today she actually urinated on a splotch of bird poop in the middle of the sidewalk.






36 comments:

  1. Thank you for exposing the truth about making friends after college. I met a few great friends after college at work and doing theater, but for the most part, it's friends from college.

    Cute schmupper pupper!

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  2. Don't be TOO HARSH on Daisy... I've actually wanted to do that a few times myself! Good luck with the NEW friend/s! ~ jb///

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  3. LOL your dog is NOT only cute but has a sense of humor and she's jealous. I like that.

    I have a hard time making friends with people because I too have anxiety. I mean all that selling of ones self, all the whoring and lying it's so hard. I hope she turns out to be a great girl and be gentle with her. Take it slow...

    Oh but you know we love you. I mean technically you have like a bazillion blog friends.

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  4. It is a little challenging making new friends when you get a little older. I applaud your efforts!
    Your dog is so cute. At least she only urinates on other's excrement....my dog used to...um....eat it *screams* I know, it was totally gross. See? It could ALWAYS be worse.

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  5. I am so impressed that you befriended a random woman just out and about! That is tres not easy.

    Oh, how I love the Golden Girls! Maybe we can concoct some kind of Golden Girls drinking game for future blogging chick get-togethers.

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  6. You're not kidding - making new friends as an adult is sooo not easy. I am "that" friend, too - the spastic one who's rather inclined to make fart noises with my mouth and break out into a funny dance just because I feel like it while the other girls are fabulous and mature and make me feel like I should be hanging out with 13 yr olds instead.

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  7. Awww, the dog is really cute. My cat was very territorial believe it or not. She hissed at everyone but me. She only growled at me, so I pretended she was purring.

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  8. I'm with ya on the making new friends bit. It's a tricky thing. I think I purposely act extra wacky when I meet new people in order to A) scare off the ones who would irritate me later. B) Attract the other wackos out there in order to make my life more colorful. So, I'm for not squashing your 90% kooky/fun side.
    Have fun!

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  9. Oh, god, making friends after college has not really worked for me. And of course the more time I spend relatively friendless, the more rabidly I pounce on any potential friend-prospect, probably scaring them away with my cries of LOVE ME! LOVE ME!
    Offers of baked goods sometimes help.

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  10. Shoot, I'm IN college and it's impossible to make friends. So I go to a community college. So most of my class is housewives and priests (no shit). It's OK... Hoop's my friend. I'm just going to go over here a sulk a bit.

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  11. I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow to meet up with some blog friends. I'm sure we will do nothing but party, I mean discuss writing.
    I didn't know about the conference near Chicago or I met have went there instead. I'm originally from the area and could have seen some old friends and got to meet two of my favorite bloggers, you and Tish. Maybe next time.

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  12. I know, once the binge drinking element was gone from my life I had very little in common with ANYONE anymore. Or that's how it felt. But actually, I just made a friend recently--my first new one in years. It IS exciting, isn't it? Almost like dating.

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  13. Why is it like that? The personality suppression, the playing hard-to-get, the uncanny resemblance to dating (as Sugarmama said) - making friends should not be this hard.

    I've been feeling homesick lately. Just ignore me. Or make a fart noise so that I laugh a little bit.

    Or make your word verification include the letters "perv". Hee hee hee!!!

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  14. Have fun! Sounds great to be out and about. :) And yeah, making new friends is hard...yay for the internet!

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  15. It is darn near impossible to make new friends after college. Apparently, I'm just hanging out in the wrong places. :)

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  16. You bet it's hard to meet people after college. But try...having an only child "He'll be weird if he doesn't have a brother or sister",
    "throwing away" a master's degree to be home full-time "You're too smart to not be working" and homeschooling your kidlet "So, you're pretty religious, huh?". Ain't no amount of "surpressing" that's going to cover up my level of wackiness. :-)

    Have a great time at your fundraiser and in Chicago.

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  17. I'm inspired by your boldness. Does one face the same obstacles in picking up friends at bars as they do lovers? Intriguing. Perhaps one day we'll see a sociological study on the art.

    Good luck on your date!

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  18. I SO badly want to be your friend- but I am concerned the combination of spaz might lead to disintegration of world order.

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  19. I can't wait to hear of your adventures. If you have the right amount of alcohol in your system at all times you should be able to beat down that social anxiety like the bitch it is! Good luck and i expect a fully gossipy report.

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  20. I'm am just enough of a sports nut to be impressed that you're meeting someone who writes for the Sporting News. Cool. Good luck on your friend date! I bet if you get them liquored-up they'll both admit to loving the Golden Girls.

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  21. If I'd only known. I'm going on a drinking binge/writer's conference in New York this weekend. Hell, it just as easily could have been near Chicago. We'll just have to coordinate better. Say, what are you wearing to the Friday night cocktail party?

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  22. I've been living here for 6 years and I have ONE friend in town, so yeah, I know where you're coming from!

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  23. Yikes...sounds like fun. Maybe? It is hard to make friends at certain times in life. I figure the next easy time is in the home. Before the era of being strapped to the bed for my safety and a decade after the kids have kids and my husband kicks the bucket...hehehe. LIke college again.

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  24. LOL! Well, I was already feeling an almost eerie affinty with you when i read this

    "Which will mean suppressing 90 percent of my personality, but isn’t that what friendship is really all about?"

    But the fact the I just wrote about Cheetos before reading this entry absolutely seals it for me.

    You'll be swell. Your new friends don't know how lucky they are to have met you.

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  25. I thought Minnie was the ONLY female dog in the universe who enjoyed piddling on other dogs' excrement. Minnie is actually a "leg lifter" which (according to the vet(s) and trainer(s)) is fairly unusual. Now I know that she has another weird little female friend (Daisy - not you) somewhere in this big, lonely world. That's a lot of grass for just one gal to pee on all by herself. Glad to know Minnie has some help!

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  26. Yes, the friends-after-college thing is a big challenge. It's the closest thing to dating again once you've got marriage out of the way. I don't dress up and put on makeup for my dates with my hubby, but for girlfriends? You betcha.

    Daisy's cute. I love that she pees on bird droppings -- LOL!

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  27. Hey Jess! Sounds like a ton of fun!! I hope you have a great time! Love the dog, too!

    C.

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  28. Wow. That's a very grown up evening. A defining moment of adulthood. Like going to the video store to rent an adult movie--and it's about doing your taxes.

    Enjoy.

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  29. Can't wait to read all about it!!

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  30. I hope that you can just be yourself and choose not to suppress your "slapstick, goof-off, neurotic, writes about boogers and pubes, possibly alcoholic element of the friendship" side of yourself.

    I know that's who I'd definitely want to meet!

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  31. Is that the face of a little girl who eats her own feces? I think not.

    Hope you had fun this weekend. Maybe sometime you could head south for the weekend to see a friend you've already made. *cough*

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  32. DUDE. You were in CHICAGO - near CHICAGO and I didn't know it!!! I hate you now! Oh how would I have loved to hang out with you!!!

    Anyway, serves me right for not reading in a couple days. :( Sorry.

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  33. Oh, wow. You wrote this Wednesday and I just now saw it. Things have been that crazy. So I'll have to wish you a great weekend in the past tense. According to Stephanie it was wonderful. And I know what you mean about finding friends after college. It's tough. Especially, it seems, in a small town. And for an introvert.

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  34. Jozet said: "You'll be swell. Your new friends don't know how lucky they are to have met you."

    I AM SOOOO LUCKY TO HAVE JESS AS A NEW FRIEND IN MY LIFE! She is the AWESOMEST! And yes, we all talked about pubes and bikini waxes, and lots of discussion on pooping and farting. Jess is the coolest, and soon I will be blogging about the whole event AND posting photos of our awesome weekend! Even though she had to leave early to go home to make some love or poop or something!

    Love ya Jess!!!!!!!!! Oh, and you left your vibrator at the hotel but they're sending it to you....

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  35. Hey Jess! How's your day in the land of Osh Kosh, bi'Gosh, and Sheboigan?? Did I totally butcher Sheboigan? : )

    C.

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  36. Daisy is adoreable! Awwww. I'm in love.

    Also, I wish you lived in Missouri. We'd be fast friends. And we'd both be the spastic one in the relationship who says stuff no one ever has the nerve to say but you KNOW everyone is thinking it. heeheee.

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