Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Do Tell

Seven more days to finish my final edits, so this is going to be another hodge-podge of a post. But I like to think of it as in keeping with the randomness of life.

1) Last night during a walk I found a baggie of oregano on a neighbor’s lawn. J opined that a kid bought the bag of “pot” at South Park, discovered it was better suited on a pizza than in a bong, and hurled it onto the nearest lawn in disgust. Wow. This neighborhood is really going to fake pot. Could a vial of baking powder on the curb be far behind?

2) There is a lonely-hearts male house wren building a nest and singing passionately for a girlfriend in our backyard. Sadly, no wrens of the female persuasion seem to be in the neighborhood.

3) I have planted the final raised bed this season. Pictures to come soon. All of this front yard gardening has put me in the line of fire from passing pedestrians. I’d like to thank the individual who helpfully pointed out yesterday that I have four cubic yards of topsoil heaped in my driveway. Thank you so much! Boy, do I have egg on my face! How could I have missed that? Sheesh! And to the incredibly helpful sales associate at a certain garden center on Sunday? I loved your joke about Jason having all the credit cards while I, the high roller spendthrift wife, jacked up the balance! What comedy stylings. Why can’t more men make jokes like these? I also enjoyed your hostile jest about your wife weeding some of your favorite perennials and being subsequently barred from your garden. Silly, stupid woman! Mr. Nurseryman, you are a beacon for gender equality and happy marriage.

Still, the nursery had the two items I haven’t found anywhere else locally: liatris ligulistylis (meadow blazing star; You want Monarch butterflies later this summer? Plant a few of these lovelies.) and rudbeckia nitida, a green-eyed susan that gets six feet tall. Despite my purchase of these plants, Jason was mildly disappointed because “We never get any weird stuff.”

4) My life is currently driving a flat, straight stretch of highway between Dullsville and Tedium Town (not that I mind much), and I need to hear something interesting. So I want to hear what YOU’RE up to. What movies have you seen? What books are you reading? What did you think of the Sopranos’ finale? Where are you going on vacation this summer? Where should Jason and I go on vacation this summer? What do you think of the price of tea in China? Why is the sky blue? Why do I continue to use the dijon mustard that expired two years ago?

I'll be eagerly awaiting your input. In the meantime, I'm off to kill a few more of my darlings.


  1. Yeah, I'm in a rut too, but it's MY rut and I like it.
    Sadly, I am RIGHT OUT OF BOOKS right now - the good library is closed on weekends, the only time I can go to it and so I'm stuck with our tiny and crappy local library. Oh, the suffering.

  2. Don't look to me to alleviate your boredom. I am going on vacation soon in Ohio.

    Joke! Ohio natives! Joke!

  3. I can't help you with the mustard, and I think the Soprano's finale was a scheduled stop on the Dullsville to Tedium expressway.

    If you're looking for a fabulous vacation (and don't want to miss the butterflies flocking to your new unpronoucable plants) try the beach in southern Maine in September. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

  4. three movies i watched last week and loved: volver, the last king of scotland and borat (for this movie you need a healthy skewed sense of the funny. if you laugh at penis jokes then it's the movie for you).

    in other news i will be traveling to west texas in about two weeks to stake out a cemetery to see who is leaving flowers in my name at a friend's grave. dun dun dun...

    other than that, i got nothing...

  5. Mustard EXPIRES? Uh-oh.

  6. "straight stretch of highway between Dullsville and Tedium Town"

    You'll see me in your rear-view mirror.

    I didn't know mustard expires, either.

    Vacation? What's a vacation?

    Vacation for me happens in very small increments - like right now. I laughed out loud at you (with you).

  7. I too wonder about the long outdated mustard in my galley fridge. I like to think it is because I am too short to get to the bottom (in boats the fridge is like a deep cave with a lid -- NO ONE-- can reach inside to the bottom.
    Lucky you with a garden...mine is all wet so to speak.

  8. Anonymous7:42 AM

    I love butterfly plants! (I assume that's what you're referring to with all your fancy Latin.)

    I feel ya on the mustard issue. I fear for the person who uses our Squeeze Miracle Whip before I remember to throw it out.

    As for the Sopranos, I'm pissed at David Chase.

    For our vacation, we're flying with my folks to Washington for a week. We'll hit all of our favorite spots in Seattle and visit my ailing grandfather in Spokane. I'm praying that we won't want to kill each other after a couple of days in the rented mini-van.

    I haven't seen a grown-up movie in months. But I hear "Waitress" is excellent and if I have to see it alone, I will. The other movie I'm interested in is "Once," but it's not playing here in Podunkville yet.

  9. Anonymous11:53 AM

    Went to Hawaii (loved!), broke my first bone ever (34 years old) in a soccer match (wrist, did n*ot* love) and saw Knocked Up (very entertaining!)

    Nurseryman - what a winnah.

    "we never get any weird stuff" heh.

  10. You're a gardener? Have your read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver? Fascinating!

  11. I like your hodge-podge posts. It allows randomness to leak out of your brain and that's ALWAYS a good thing. For us.

  12. Anonymous12:23 AM

    Still not sure what I'm going to do for my summer vacation. I remember a couple of years ago having a remarkably cool adventure to LACROSSE, WI of all places. As a transplanted flatlander, anything with hills makes me happy. I think I'm starting to become easy to please in my old age.

  13. I love when you post pics of your plantings. They inspire me :0

    Hmmm....I took the kids to see Shrek 3. Does that count? It had alot of adult humor, so it held my interest. Let's see....I am reading The Kite Runner (excellent!) I didn't see The Soprano's...I am going to RI, NH, and Charleston, SC this summer. I think you should go to Italy. The price of tea in China? As long as it doesn't contain those nasty chemicals I've been reading about then I guess it's cheap enough.
    Ummm....I had no idea that mustard expires. I guess as long as you aren't experiencing intestinal discomfort, it should be ok, right?

  14. I'm planning to be in Wisconsin, tossing vials of baking powder onto curbs.

    Oh, and New York. I hear they have really good baking powder there.

    You should go to NYC, next week--hand in that ms in person, meet other Random House authors.

  15. I think your oregano assessment is spot on, although I wonder if there's a teeny chance that it was simply a case of accidental droppage after a friendly neighbor-to-neighbor herb borrowing. Cup of sugar is soooo 1950s.

    Good luck on your edits. Almost there!

  16. You smoked the oregano didn't you?

  17. Anonymous2:22 PM

    Ooh. Come to Florida. We're not personally doing anything too exciting other than a lobstering trip to the Keys at the end of July, but I can definitely point you to some really beautiful, fun places.

  18. "This neighborhood is really going to fake pot."


    Good luck with your edits!

  19. I'm getting ready to move. Again. For the fifth time in three years.

    Tedium sounds pretty daggone good right now.

    Have you tried Buddlea? Butterflies lurve it.