Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Multi-media Geeks Unite!

Busy isn’t even a word I’d associate with my past week at work. Frenzied? Maybe. Mental soccer riot? Certainly. My brain is throwing a major tantrum and I want nothing more than to send it into the corner for a time-out.

The bags under my eyes have been packed for weeks, waiting for word on when we’re leaving for the Bahamas. Just so you know, I have no immediate plans to travel to the Bahamas. I think my eyebags will be waiting for a good, long time.

Lips? Mere husks of themselves. Hair? Falling out in clumps and turning white at an alarmingly rapid pace. Nose? Who has time to consider The Nose when grant deadlines are being hurled at me left and right like iron throwing stars?

One more month and I am OFF FOR THE SUMMER. So I can write the next 200 pages of book numero dos. But not to fear! I’m sure I’ll find something else I can neurotically obsess over by then.

This weekend we saw Grindhouse. The first time I saw the previews for this movie, with Rose McGowan’s machine-gun stump-leg, I actually thought to myself: The only way I’m seeing that movie is if someone throws a sack over my head, ties me to a dolly, wheels me to the theater, pays for my ticket, ties me into a seat, props my eyes open with toothpicks, and duct-tapes my mouth shut so I can’t scream or eat a full bucket of heart-stabbing movie theater popcorn with extra butter.

But you know what? I went, out of love for my husband. And despite my preconceptions, I actually enjoyed the movie. (Or, movies, rather. It was a double-feature.) It was campy, it was over the top, it had a cheeseball seventies-feel that I--as one who wrote a college paper on the Blaxploitation movies of that era--could truly appreciate.


Three more things: It had fake horror movie previews, fun cameos, and even a fake ad for a Mexican restaurant, which featured off-color photos of greasy meals that really scored on my personal camp-o-meter. It did well on Rotten Tomatoes, and I usually find my opinions jiving with that particular barometer. Plus, a crazy man came in and stood in the row below us, staring at us for a good twenty seconds, then sat down and laughed at nonsensical moments, and after film #1 he shouted a garbled, “Can’t believe (something something) movies like (something) ever!” He then stood up and stared at us again while I averted my eyes to the left so deeply I almost pulled an ocular muscle. A rollicking good time was had by all.

This weekend will feature Adventures in Landscaping, coming to a lawn near me. I hope to be able to stand upright after the experience. (Lift with the legs, Hercules!) Well, as long as I can open my eyes enough to watch The Sopranos on HBO and Planet Earth on The Discovery Channel Sunday night, I’ll be happy.

Don't even get me started on the to-be-read books on my bedside pile. There are twenty-three.


  1. Sounds like a fun night out. I'll be skipping that movie - I'm really dainty about violence - but it does sound like a good time.

  2. Anonymous8:54 PM

    I'm not sure, even for the love of my husband, I could see Grindhouse.

  3. Anonymous10:59 PM

    since i don't know what a "new" movie is if it's not delivered to my mailbox via the very delinquent postman scampering from his afternoon delight; i'm sure i will enjoy this campy flick, say, in two years.

  4. I've only been to two movies in the past five years and I rarely watch one on TV from start to finish! Pathetic? Yes. I shy away from horror, etc.

    I hope you enjoy your time off and enjoy that landscaping. Must be Spring! You sound like you need a nice vacation ;o)

  5. We went to see Grindhouse last weekend. I LOVED it. Although to be fair, we only got to see the first movie before it hit midnight and we got tired and went home. On the way out (between yawns) Hoop asked, "When the hell did we get so OLD?!"

  6. Anonymous4:19 PM

    Hang in there sistah!

    And is Planet Earth not the most beautiful, fascinating thing on TV right now. I am completely spellbound. Fresh Water is my favorite thus far, but it's soooooo hard to choose. Good lord it's gorgeous.

  7. Anonymous4:28 PM

    The bags under my eyes have been packed for weeks! LOVED IT. Wish I had written that myself. WANT TO STEAL IT that's how great a line it is.

    I love QT and everything he does. He's just the only filmmaker out there who does different things within the confines of a movie and shakes it all up. Only I didn't like Jackie Brown, so I guess I'm a liar and a wannabe thief.

  8. I get out so infrequently, but I did see Blades of Glory the other day, because I love Will Ferrell, and I loved Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite (though he doesn't quite cut it here), and I'm an approving idiot of idiotic jibberish.

    My recommendation? Go see Stranger Than Fiction and Napoleon Dynamite.

  9. You want frenzied? Try getting three children to three different baseball practice fields at the exact same moment of the day when you know no one else on the team in which to carpool with and your husband works in the city and isn't home till 7:00 at night and the laundry's crawling on its own, trying to make its way into the machine in hopes of being washed, and the dishwasher has mung on the bottom that stinks because it's broken. AND, you've got a migraine and a period so bad you're hemmoraging.

    Ha, just kidding. I'm not on the rag!

    (I'm cracking up at my humor this early in the a.m./Or this late, depending on how you look at it!)

  10. Hey, that was a run-on sentence, but you know what? I think it works. DOn't you?

  11. I'm glad I'm not the only one who still gets butter on her popcorn. I always feel bad when I go to the movies with my "healthy" friends and they get it plain. Life's too short!

    Hey, have you seen those Bahamavention commercials? Pretty funny, aren't they?

  12. Jill, I refused to see that movie UNTIL I read your "review" - guess I'll give it a shot.

  13. Oh - and if you are wondering why the hell I called YOU (who shares MY name) JILL it's because I just got finished reading my friend Jill at Egg in Spoon.

    Oh, and it's late (weak grin).

    Feel free to stop by my blog and refer to me as "Jennifer"

  14. Oh Jess...your poor eye-bags, and lip-husks. I hope that it all goes well and you'll be into your summer before you know it!

    I personally think that you should've done a pre-emptive strike on that crazy-crazy staring at you guys and pepper-sprayed him.

  15. I know for a fact that you're the first person in history to claim they've pulled an ocular muscle.

    That is exactly what I love about you!

  16. This is almost reason for me to see Grindhouse. Love campy stuff.
    Have been humming the theme from Shaft! in my head.

  17. You went to see Grindhouse?! Brave girl!

    The hair's too pretty to fall out! :)

  18. Um, yeah, I couldn't see that movie. Shudder. Manic, you crack me up with your comment.

  19. that machine gun leg turns me off bigtime but I'm probably watch it anyway. I'd watch anything Tarantino.

  20. Love Planet Earth.

    Hope you find some time to rest up!

  21. Anonymous9:19 AM

    The description of your face is great. In every one of your posts, there's always a line or phrase that I absolutely love. That's why I can't wait to read your book!

    You've given me a reason to reconsider my position on Grindhouse (I absolutely refused to see it). The husband will be pleased.