Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Three Things

First, can you believe I actually included this photo in a grant proposal last year?

These are college students playing a rousing game of Edward Forty-hands. I included this picture to demonstrate the need to address the dangerously high levels of binge drinking in my community. Also, because I laughed every time I looked at these boobs. Seriously. Who came up with this game? “Hey, I have a great idea! Let’s duct-tape forty ounce bottles of malt liquor to our hands and….uh….drink them!” The challenge, of course, is that you must finish your beverages before your bladder is in on the gag. As it’s difficult to successfully complete your bathroom mission with two giant glass bottles taped to the palm of each hand. GET IT? (I have no idea who gets credit for this photo, but I assume he or she had a good time.) If you have any such pictures of yourself, feel free to send them my way. I am currently writing a grant proposal requesting funds to reduce alcohol abuse in another community. In fact, I am working on it tonight. While sipping a New Glarus Fat Squirrel. Maybe. Or maybe not. But if I am, it's definitely not taped to my hand.

Second, do you find this picture as amusing as I do?

Never date an Oompa Loompa. Especially if he’s from New Jersey.

And last but not least, today is the paperback release of a terrific first novel, The Liar’s Diary, by a remarkable author named Patry Francis. Patry is currently focusing her energy on healing from an aggressive form of cancer, and has had to take a step back from promotion and marketing activities. So it is a very, very cool thing that a community of more than 300 authors and bloggers have joined together to help spread the word about her novel, which Publisher’s Weekly calls, “A quirky, well-written and well-constructed mystery with an edge.” For more backstory, click over to Susan Henderson’s LitPark. For more on Patry (or to wish her well), visit her website or blog. You can buy the book online at amazon, barnes & noble, powells, or you can also buy directly from Penguin to save 15% (enter the word PATRY in the coupon code field; click ‘update cart’ to activate the discount). Many thanks! (Ah, can’t you feel that good karma?)


  1. Um...how do you get to be that color?? That is truly odd

  2. Man someone had a coupon for the self tanning booth.

  3. The idea that my son is a year away from college makes me shudder.

    Thanks for the oompa loompa pic, though - the belly laugh was enough to balance my college fright.

  4. For more loompa pics, and other nonsenes, try this site:


    Works every time. (Though I have some argument about their definition of "hot chicks".)

  5. Hey, what a great idea. I can tape a wine glass to each hand and when the kids ask me to do something, I will have a real reason to say "No, sorry, can't help right now, you'll have to make your own supper tonight."
    Okay, lol at the Oompa Loompa's.
    And, I will add this book to my reading list, thanks.

  6. Manorexic tanorexia or tanorexic manorexia?

    Either way you look at it, they're orange and it's scaring me.

  7. Ack! Someone painted those poor boys orange when they weren't looking.


  8. Anonymous8:15 PM

    I've been seeing mentions of Patry Francis and her book all over blogland today. It's wonderful how writers can come together to help each other.

  9. Anonymous9:58 PM

    Too much time in the spray-on tanning booth. I'm headed to look up Patry right now.

  10. So that's what's been missing from my parties: Duct tape and self-tanning cream!

    The things Martha Stewart overlooks...

  11. Anonymous8:52 PM

    Wait, are those the Gotti boys? Or is that "the look" in Jersey these days? Either way, gross!

  12. What the hell is wrong with those boys faces?

    Thanks for the great party game idea for our Super Bowl party! On my way out for more duct tape!

  13. Oompa Loompa Doompity Doom
    I have a big ol' question for you

    where do you get that much bronzing gel, or is it spray-on?

    The duct tape/malt liquor is even more frightening.

    Wading in the shallow end of the gene pool.

    I loved your Not Giving Up post.

    I just wrote and saved two Standardized Responses today. One, to Aspiring Young Writers Who Want to Know How to Become Famous. The other, to Hopeful Authors of Children's Books (that they secretly want me to illustrate). The hidden subtext, gently put? Give Up Now.

    Isn't that awful?

  14. They look like two pieces of bacon. ;-)

  15. Can I have a copy of your report when you're done? I have to teenage boys you know, and I'd like them to read about that.

  16. Anonymous4:41 PM

    Oh mah Lord are those boys orange. Any idea how old that photo is? I wonder if they look back and go, "ya know, that last visit to the spray tan clinic was probably overkill" and not, "damn, I look goooood."