Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ghost hunting old-school style

First, a correction...that was an eight-pound kohlrabi in my last post. So if you're looking for an eight-pound rutabaga at the local grocery store, you may be shit out of luck.

Mike Birbiglia was hilarious, and I so enjoyed myself that I immediately bought tickets for another upcoming show: David Cross at the Riverside this Saturday. This has all the makings of a comedian bender, so it's a good thing future weekends will be reserved for weddings and other activities.

Such as having the snot scared out of me. Two weekends ago I heard a story about a haunted section of woods in southern Wisconsin, and since I am an avid Ghost Hunters fan, of course I want to go experience it myself to see if it's real.

There is a back service road in the southern Kettle Moraine Forest that is supposedly haunted. You drive down the road at night, park, kill the engine, shut off the lights, roll the windows down, and wait. Within minutes, you hear the voices and laughter of small children running through the woods. Soon, you also hear shuffling on the gravel road. The footsteps and laughter grow louder and louder until you have the strong sensation of being watched. But as your eyes grow used to the darkness, you see nothing but small puffs of dust kicking up from the gravel with every footstep.

Or something like that.

(Spooky Count Laugh: "Ah-ah-ah-ah-aaaahhh!")

True? Maybe. I know people who have gone there and will never return because they stained their skivvies just a wee bit. So, with our freewheeling attitude toward fear-based fluid leakage, my friend and I are thinking about doing it. Hey, if nothing else, it could be good blog fodder. Or we could try to sit on the haunted mausoleum in nearby Dartford Cemetery. (Supposedly a ghost pushes you off.) With Halloween approaching, I suspect this could be a popular spot with the local teen Ouija board / Light-as-a-feather-Stiff-as-a-board crowd. There could be a line..."You must be *this* tall to ride the mausoleum!" And souvenir tees and hats.

If we go, maybe we'll take some video and post something on YouTube. Because my life won't be complete until a pasty kid with a KFC stain on his shirt leaves a comment like, "this would have been more interesting if y'all girls got naked," or, "GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "you two are stupid the video sucks. try not smoking a bunch of weed before you go."


  1. Take Eileen, if you go. She's rumored to be a ghost magnet. If you believe in that sort of thing. ;-)

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  3. HEY, OLD FRIEND! It's great to read you. I've been away too long... and I believe I still owe you an email from like... April. I think. But, it's all Jason's fault.

    I want to go with you to those woods. And I'm sure Will would like to as well. WE LOVE TO SHIT OUR PANTS.

    We love it.

  4. Hey! I found you through another blog. I'm a huge Ghost Hunters fan as well! And I think I've seen both of those other places on some other ghost show. Please blog about it if you go! And take pics/video. Because aside from the obvious appeal of those comments you listed, I want to see!

    My sister and I also are huge fans of being scared into peeing our pants. I just mentioned in my blog how we went to Mansfield Reformatory last halloween. I totally deserve a "I got groped in the haunted prison" tshirt for that one!

    Great blog!

  5. Anonymous9:05 PM

    Have fun on that ghost hunt. I find life with my children scary enough most days that I don't go thrill-seeking. hahaha

  6. I come to you via "Where Hot Comes to Die" as she told me you do something with butterflies!!!

    I will read your blog later...I am bit dishambled in the brain right now and can't seem to focus.